


I'm Crying

by embarrissed



Category: The Beatles (Band)
Genre: I Am the Walrus, I'm so sorry, Love, Love Triangle, Music, Romance, Self Insert, The Beatles - Freeform, based on my favorite song, crackship, egg, musician - Freeform, singer - Freeform, the real reason the beatles broke up, walrus - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:13:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27765043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/embarrissed/pseuds/embarrissed
Summary: Egg has a tough choice to make: should it choose its doe-eyed love the Walrus, or hot-bodied man John Lennon?
Relationships: Danny Devito's Egg/John Lennon, Danny Devito's Egg/the Walrus
Comments: 3
Kudos: 1





	I'm Crying

**Author's Note:**

> I literally cried the entire time I wrote

DANNY DEVITO'S EGG:: 

...

Danny Devito’s Egg, or just plain old “Egg” for short, gazes at the two pictures set before it. Its two lovers.

The first picture is of a beautiful man with flowing brown hair and pointed nose. John Winston Ono Lennon.

The second picture is of a ruddy-brown creature, two tusks protruding from his generous mouth. The Walrus.

It can’t lead them both on at once. Too much work. And Egg feels  _ guilty _ for having two boyfriends at once. It’s not that Egg's against polygamy- it’s because Egg knows it only has the capacity to love one.

But which does it love more? John Lennon or the Walrus? Who could it choose to live without? It must choose. And it’s going to choose tonight.

It’s invited both over for a lovely dinner. It’s prepared sandwiches in the shape of Nikola Tesla’s face and put a kettle on for tea. It scrubs its shell clean and tugs on a fresh button-up. Jitters shake its feeble body as it anticipates their arrival.

6:20…

6:30…

6:40…

6:50…

7:00.

The doorbell buzzes. John smiles his heart-stopping smile. Egg blushes and lets him in. A few seconds later, the Walrus flops in. They’re seated at its dining table, enjoying the Tesla sandwiches, when John breaks the silence. “Egg, may I have a word?” His accent sends shivers down Egg’s spine.

“Yes, of course!”

They vacate to the English garden. “Egg, I-” John glances down at his knees.

“Wait. John?” Egg’s made up its mind. It loves John. It wants to spend the rest of its life with him. But what about the Walrus? “I love you too. But I also love the Walrus. I don’t know what to do!”

A small, sly grin spreads over John’s face. “Oh, Egg.” He leans close into Egg’s face. The Walrus appears at John’s side.  “Don’t you know? I  _ am _ the Walrus!” 

Quietly goo-goo-gjoobing, John and the Walrus morph into one. He presses a light kiss to its lips. “And  _ you  _ are my egg-man.”

They kiss again, and again, until the sun fades into lavender. All is well.

**Author's Note:**

> I want to die. Anyone wanna join me?


End file.
